How long had I stood there and stared at this toothpaste tube… ten, fifteen minutes?  I wish I knew why this simple chore is so difficult?  Why do I kid myself?  I do know.  It’s because the blasted toothpaste companies make it so darn hard for those of us who care about our weight! It just makes me so mad that they don’t put a calorie count on the tube!  How are we supposed to know what we are putting in our mouth?  Don’t they know that I could gain weight just by brushing my teeth?  Heaven knows I don’t need that!  I guess I could use baking soda. There’re no calories in baking soda… right? But it’s full of salt… Salt! I’ll gain weight from that too! Why is it that no matter what I eat… or don’t eat, I gain weight? Just look at how fat I am.  Oh… that awful pudge is getting worse!  I could go without brushing my teeth if I hadn’t… why did I have to eat this morning anyway?  Absolutely no self-control! All right, guess I better start brushing.  I’ll just have to run an extra three miles.

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