As those of you know who follow me on social media, I took some pretty hard hits the end of last year. I fell. My phone flew out of my hands and into the parking lot where a car,
On the way home I decided what new phone I was going to get; the upgrade of the phone I already had.
I liked my phone.
Arriving home, I went straight for my laptop and punched in the site to order a new phone.
But nothing happened… the screen was blank.
The first wave of panic hit me.
I called for my husband. He could fix it. He can fix anything!
But not this time. My hard-drive had died.
I lost my book.
As I stood looking over my husband’s shoulder, I realized I hadn’t backed up my book. It was lost… or big chunks of it were. I did have some. I don’t always write at home, so I will email finished portions back to myself.
I had won an award for this book last February. But the publishing agent still had some issues with it and wanted some major changes. No surprise. Most books are written and rewritten many times before they are ready to publish. It had taken me nearly a year. I needed to cut out some of my favorite parts and change some of the POV. Anyone who has had to do this knows that it can be hard. I felt like I was killing off a close friend. I would go days without writing as I inwardly rebelled against what needed to be done. Finally, I was almost ready to send it to my editor, Deb, for a final review before taking it back to the publishing agent.
I was so excited!
How could I do this all again?
Was is the operative word there.
It only took a few days to hit another roadblock. I had started trying to piece it back together but soon quit when I saw a big chunk missing from my first chapter. Yes, I had over half of the final rewrite, but it’s the parts I don’t have that have brought me to a full stop.
Soon doubt started running through my head.
How could I do this all again? I was so happy with how my book had turned out. Surprise! The publishing agent had been right after all. But I would never be able to rewrite it again, the way it was.
I had been defeated.
So I quit.
All my old fears were back whispering in my ears.
“You’re not a good writer and your book would never sell. Who are you trying to kid? Remember all those rejection letters you keep getting? It will never publish anyway”
I’ve been beating myself up for weeks for not backing up my book. How could I be so stupid and lazy about something that was this important?
Maybe God was trying to tell me it was trash and I needed to give up while I was ahead.
So I quit.
This morning, as I was going through my email, I came across an article from a blog I follow. The article was called:
Redemption in Your Writing Career by Lymm Blackburn
This article really hit me right where I needed it. It’s about second chances.
The story was relayed about the very public failer of Andy Teasdall at the ACC Championship game. Lynn Blackburn told how the Clemson head coach, Dabo Swinney, gave him a second chance at the Orange Bowl and Teasdall’s pulled off an
Another chance
I failed. I didn’t back up my book. It was inevitable that one day my hard-drive would die and I would lose what was on it. It had happened to me before… with this book even! This book started out years ago as a NaNoWriMo project and I lost my second draft from that. Although that one REALLY needed to be lost… lol.
I was happy with, what I thought, was my final edit.
But maybe this next one will be even better. Maybe, like Teasdall at the Orange Bowl, I just need a second (or third or fourth) chance.
This whole ramble is here to officially announce that I’m back.
I know I need to rewrite over half my book and I know it won’t be the same.
But it will be completed.
It probably won’t be finished before the writing conference in February where the publishing agent I was planning to pitch it to will be present.
But it will be completed.
There’s even a very good possibility that this book will never be picked up by a publisher or be found on the shelf of a bookstore.
But it will be completed.
IT WILL BE COMPLETED!
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